Notes on my Dream Last Night

Feeling of being trapped- captured in a "camp"
Boy-girl romance. Tall, handsome, dark hair, strong, familiar features.
(Toward the end, close to understanding/answers) Tunnel of evil- swirling, eyes, memories. Reading book while going through, Boy said to read for answers.
Separate walkway (steep ramp with a door at the top)- young boy and mom recognize it and go off, I try and follow but am pulled back. Boy is separated from the group.
Heightened danger and suspense.
People are disappearing.
Meeting spot in the woods.
"Voldemort-like" villain- finding clues to eliminate and be set free.
Memories lost, recovering and finding clues as to how we arrived there- and how to be set free again.

Gender Roles.

This is, without a doubt, the most mind-numbing, tedious, ridiculous essay I have ever written. If there weren't so many demanding criteria, this could possibly be a beautiful, monumental, awe-inspiring, collegiate essay, worthy of scholastic journals. However, writing within these set confines is not helping me to support my thesis. I have zero desire to reference that awful "piece of work". This paper may appear to be insightful to you, Miss TA, but know this- in my mind, I have never before written a paper loaded with more BS than this. This is not a piece I'm proud of, but I know it will earn me an A, which is an upsetting waste of time. /End rant.

I'm going to start writing again, finally.

Blogging can be a great way to share what i'm currently doing in life. Because I'm going to be in college, cosplaying, and figuring out my life spiritually- I'm going to have an awful lot to say so it's likely to end up on here. Blog, my old friend, I have missed ye.

Empty vessel.
Sunken ship.
Trying leads to failure in the end.
Deserting others,
starting trends.
One by one they have their judgment day.
Demotivating scars,
haunting, lingering.
Move on, move forward.
That's all you can do.

breathe.

Lord, I am so thankful for everything that you have been doing in my life. I may not understand it all, but I know you have a plan and I love you :)
It hurts when people that are close to you walk out of your life, but I know you're not giving me anything that i can't handle. I'm already learning a lot more about myself and the person I want to be, and the people I want to surround myself around. For that, i'm thankful. I love you so much. Amen.

Point of view.

When they say love is blind, it's true. To a point. You can look at a person's flaws and still love them because your sense of rationality is being pushed behind a veil, or so they say.

Or are our eyes just being opened to the way God was intending? With love and compassion and the ability to see past someone's flaws and pick out the beauty.

So look at this veil as a disadvantage, or see it as your heart opening up. Glass half full or half empty. <3

-sigh-

Up until now, I never understood why everyone else felt they want to leave this town, see the world, travel, and just "escape". But now... I feel a sense of independance. Like I want to provide for myself and go off and see the world. I don't to burden anyone. I want to be on my own. Everyone seems like they're already moving on.. Boot camp, college, marriage, children. And for me; High School. Big whoop dee do. I want to travel. I'm compelled to leave for Japan. Perhaps learning about their culture and their writing will help satisfy my longing to explore. Sigh...