Saturday, October 24, 2009

I wish this could be a happy song But my happiness disappeared the moment you were gone

i had a dream about her again. no, that should be rephrased. i had a nightmare. she comes back, I see her, time has changed her a way that makes her more mature, but it's clear to see she's still the same girl- except... i've been snubbed. cast aside. forgotten. my worst nightmare.
i don't want her to forget about me. i haven't forgotten for one second about her. thinking about it genuinely breaks my heart. i'm not sure how to put this all in words, but i miss her. i miss her so much. she was my best friend in the universe. one moment she calls me with so much excitement and joy to be traveling and following her dreams, promising to call me back with details- and the next she's gone. it's like.... she died. no communication. just a slight reassuring that she's doing okay. i want to contact her. but i can't. i've asked.. but that was so long ago. maybe they'd let me now, but i don't want to open old wounds. molly :( i love you so much. i know you probably won't read this , but know that I love you. i really genuinely do. i want you to know that i'm praying for you. everyday. i'm so proud of your every accomplishment. when you get back, please.. let's catch up. tea party? (: ah, i'm at a loss for words. i... miss you. :( how fitting is it that my pandora radio just started playing missing you by jem?

I'll always be thankful
for the time we had
We were blessed
I should celebrate
but I feel too sad
All the wonderful memories
just make me fall apart
And it feels like somebody's
stabbed me in my heart

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