I'm going to start writing again, finally.

Blogging can be a great way to share what i'm currently doing in life. Because I'm going to be in college, cosplaying, and figuring out my life spiritually- I'm going to have an awful lot to say so it's likely to end up on here. Blog, my old friend, I have missed ye.

Empty vessel.
Sunken ship.
Trying leads to failure in the end.
Deserting others,
starting trends.
One by one they have their judgment day.
Demotivating scars,
haunting, lingering.
Move on, move forward.
That's all you can do.

breathe.

Lord, I am so thankful for everything that you have been doing in my life. I may not understand it all, but I know you have a plan and I love you :)
It hurts when people that are close to you walk out of your life, but I know you're not giving me anything that i can't handle. I'm already learning a lot more about myself and the person I want to be, and the people I want to surround myself around. For that, i'm thankful. I love you so much. Amen.

Point of view.

When they say love is blind, it's true. To a point. You can look at a person's flaws and still love them because your sense of rationality is being pushed behind a veil, or so they say.

Or are our eyes just being opened to the way God was intending? With love and compassion and the ability to see past someone's flaws and pick out the beauty.

So look at this veil as a disadvantage, or see it as your heart opening up. Glass half full or half empty. <3

-sigh-

Up until now, I never understood why everyone else felt they want to leave this town, see the world, travel, and just "escape". But now... I feel a sense of independance. Like I want to provide for myself and go off and see the world. I don't to burden anyone. I want to be on my own. Everyone seems like they're already moving on.. Boot camp, college, marriage, children. And for me; High School. Big whoop dee do. I want to travel. I'm compelled to leave for Japan. Perhaps learning about their culture and their writing will help satisfy my longing to explore. Sigh...

07

Well let's see, how should i begin?
My hair looks like someone barfed shitty blonde sunshine all over the top. I hate this feeling of standing still- like everyone else is moving forward with their lives and i'm stuck here, being driven around by my dad because I failed my driver's test twice and i'm terrified to get behind the wheel. I have six college level classes that I HAVE to get a C or better in with no room for error if i want to graduate. Sure, one is Karate- which i might get more use from than just another PE credit if I can kick someone's ass for an hour two times a week, or learn to in theory at least. I hate being tan. i'm going to be a wrinkly old grandma one day, but at least i look "sun kissed now". I have freckles now- which I am fully content with. Seriously, i look like a fucked up malibu barbie- and my man is gonna come home as a sexy G I Joe and say, "WOW. I've been gone three months, and this happens...?" I can't afford senior pictures, but i'm willing to fork out 100 to make my hair look less shitty. I am VAIN. Oh, and i'm a liar too. Have I read such and such book? No. OH YEAH. I CAN'T PLAY TENOR SAX. SHIT. AND I'M TENOR ONE NEXT YEAR. FML.

Stress.

Breathe. Only four more full days of high-school and you're running start bound. You can do this. Finish your essay, copy the notes, keep your eyes on the prize.